Walking Together in Sorrow

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away                              

                                                                                                                                                            Revelation 21:4

New VBS teams at LAMP are always asked to make at least a five-year commitment. To some, this requirement may seem onerous, but there is purpose behind the request. It’s important because that longer-term commitment allows time for our volunteers to make connections and build relationships in the community that they serve. As the years go by, they become a part of people’s lives as they develop not only relationships, but friendships.

This was the case for Roger and Pam who have been leading a team to South Indian Lake, MB for more than 15 years. Over the years, they have developed many friendships, including a meaningful personal connection with one of the leaders in the community. This summer, due to that friendship, Pam was asked to be a part of a very personal ceremony. Shortly before they arrived in the community to teach VBS, this leader's daughter had lost a baby. With no full-time pastor or minister in the community, Pam was asked to help lead the funeral.

We flew in for the day to join Roger and Pam in grieving with this family. Although I’ve been around when a death or suicide has happened, or been present during a wake, this was the first time I attended a funeral. There were many similarities to other funerals that I have attended, but I became aware of a few significant differences too.

The first noticeable difference was that there was no funeral home for the service. Instead, it was held outdoors, behind the house of the grandparents. Lawn and camping chairs were set up in a few rows and as those chairs began to fill, someone would run back to their home to get some more so that everyone would have a seat.

We took our seats below the towering evergreen trees that shaded us from the afternoon sun, as the leaves rustled from a cool July breeze. In front of us sat a table with a tiny, white, hand-made wooden casket. Surrounding the casket, a few candles flickered.  Some children had placed a number of small stuffed animals on and around the casket, many of which Roger and Pam’s team had brought and given out as gifts a couple of days earlier during their VBS session.

The young parents entered the backyard and took their seats beside the table, signifying that we were ready to begin. Pam stood up at the front and began reading a few passages of scripture, some hymns were sung and a couple of other people shared a few words. Many tears were shed as this family and community grieved the loss of this baby.

The funeral finished with some more scripture and prayer, after which the casket was placed in the back of a pick-up truck by the family. They slowly made their way to the community graveyard, followed by a procession of other friends and family.

The graveyard was a small, uneven area of land, not the nicely landscaped gardens that we are so often accustomed to. There were a number of graves, most individually surrounded by a small white picket fence, with a makeshift wooden cross at the head. 

At one end of the graveyard, a small plot had been dug out by hand by other members of the family. We all gathered around the grave as the white casket was placed into another unfinished wooden box. Each family member then participated in securing the lid to the box. 

As the casket was lowered into the ground, some people wept, while others stood silently and watched. Family members again took turns taking dirt from the mound beside the grave, handful by handful, and covering the casket. 

The grieving process in First Nations culture is very raw and very real. There is no funeral director to arrange and organize the process; no coroner to prepare the body. Often, there’s no pastor or priest to conduct a ceremony.  Everything needs to be done by the family, relatives and friends. 

There was one more distinct difference that caught me by surprise. The child that passed away had not yet been born. This funeral was for a baby that miscarried at 12 weeks. When this happens, despite the child not being born, it is an incredibly painful time for the parents and in First Nations culture, the community surrounds them in love to grieve with them the loss of the child.

Roger and Pam were invited to take part in this ceremony because of the faithfulness that they have shown to the community. They made a commitment, not only to come and teach VBS each year, but also to love the people of South Indian Lake. For this reason, the community trusted  Roger and Pam to share in their grief.

For over 15 years Roger and Pam have poured into this community, and here at the grave of this unborn child, they yet again had the opportunity to bring Christ’s words of love, comfort and hope to the people of South Indian Lake.

What an incredible blessing to witness how God’s love is touching the people of South Indian Lake through Roger and Pam’s faithful service. What an incredible privilege to walk beside the men, women and children of this community, looking forward to the day that Christ “will wipe away every tear from their eye."

We remain deeply committed to serving people like Roger and Pam, and the communities of northern Canada,  bringing the hope and comfort of Christ to people who need to know of His love and care for them.